Power of Positivity
about 7 months ago ·
When a man really loves you...
❤ Agreed!? Pass it on...
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664K Dhivina Llano, Gems Majul and 664K others
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김선미
김선미 My ex husband didn't do anything at all. I think it is a kind of mental abuse. I know that he is a kind of narcissist through Facebook. So i decided that I have never spent my time for asshole.
Like · Reply · 758 · August 24, 2016 at 8:33am · Edited
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Jaime Milano Smith
Jaime Milano Smith William, you've obviously never been involved with a narcissist. It takes time, sometimes years to "get over it". They break you down mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically till you're a shell of your former self. It's a slow and gradual process and some may not even be aware it is happening. She isn't playing a victim. She is a survivor.
Like · Reply · 455 · August 25, 2016 at 5:59am
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Miz Bianca
Miz Bianca Francis Gomez Pegggy💓
I'm so lucky to have you sweetheart...thanks for making me feel special😘😘😘i love you so much khit minsan para na tayong tom&jerry😂😂😂
Mhuaaaa💋! (Hnd ako matulog kaya pa post)😂
Like · Reply · 28 · August 24, 2016 at 8:52am
6 Replies
Peggy Locke
Peggy Locke Yes my Husband Norton did all these things and when someone loves you this much you know how blessed you are evert day. I asked myself for 57 years how I was so lucky this wonderful man picked me to be his wife.
Like · Reply · 272 · August 24, 2016 at 11:30pm
16 Replies
Nick Cummins
Nick Cummins Male or female we are not on this earth to make someone else happy, happiness only comes from within. If someone else's life path is close to yours its a bonus, experience it with them for as long as you feel. If not, love yourslf enough to blaze forward. Just my view. Health wealth and happiness to all
Like · Reply · 356 · August 24, 2016 at 11:00am
30 Replies
Lisa Anseth
Lisa Anseth I had gotten out of a 14 year relationship, he wasn't anything like this at all. After our break up I went through a depression and took me close to 2 years to get over him. I have such an amazing man in my life right now that I praise God for everyday...See More
Like · Reply · 287 · August 30, 2016 at 1:58am
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Tina Smith Rowe
Tina Smith Rowe I think we spend way too much time focusing on how we are suppose to be treated rather than how to treat the one we love. You can always find fault in the one you love if you look for it. Make the expectation and judgement of yourself first then of the one you love after.
Like · Reply · 141 · August 24, 2016 at 9:22am · Edited
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Isha Mohal
Isha Mohal Should he support u even wen u are wrong ?
Should he not try to make u a better person by pointing out a few flaws that u might have to make u a better being ?
Should he not give priority to his family with whom he hardly get like an hour or 2 in 15 d...See More
Like · Reply · 172 · August 24, 2016 at 10:42pm
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Jenifer Elizabeth Byrne
Jenifer Elizabeth Byrne My advice, do not make something work, do not force feelings and it's better to be alone than with someone you settle with...as soon as I stopped asking God to humor me, and let him be my match maker, things changed. 2 yrs in October we have been together. If you can't be yourself...and you feel like you are walking on egg shells and not comfortable...just wait. 😊
Like · Reply · 105 · August 24, 2016 at 10:03pm
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Linda Affonce
Linda Affonce I Love you Tim Affonce you are my life , my world my everything , You are the best thing that has happened in my life you gave me two beautiful children , you helped me raise my 2 children from a previous marriage and Loved them as your own there is nothing more I could ask for in this lifetime , Thank you for the wonderful 26 years we have been together you have made my life wonderful Thank You My Love <3
Like · Reply · 64 · August 25, 2016 at 2:08pm
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Vanessa Sargent
Vanessa Sargent When a man yeah, you heard me a man really love you, you will know and you want need anyone to tell you. That is the greatest feeling in the world you feel all of it in your heart wow!!
Like · Reply · 53 · August 24, 2016 at 8:31am
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Gossip Mill Nigeria
on Friday ·
So funny Little Emmanuella is at it again Eat & Die... Lol Mark Angel Comedy Series
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Sola Iyabo Tunmise
Sola Iyabo Tunmise In fact this girl is wonderful, you're yet to fulfill God's promise for ur life, Emmanuel you're a miracle the world is waiting for your manifestation, you're going places in life, I bless the day u we're born, I bless the womb that carried u, u always make my day.
Like · Reply · 1,776 · March 18 at 7:06am · Edited
97 Replies · 2 hrs
Samaila Yakubu
Samaila Yakubu This is not just a comedy, this is a great message..." Don't allow people detect to you how to write your story, write your story your own way. It is your story, it is about you not about them. Your experiences are only real to you not to them"
Like · Reply · 603 · March 18 at 3:59am
19 Replies · 6 hrs
Nana Kwame Asare
Nana Kwame Asare Emmanuella nailed de video... makes me remember my deceased dad once again with his piece of advice and I quote" never take a hungry dog to hunting" for it will consume the meat you've been long yearning for
Like · Reply · 636 · March 17 at 8:57pm
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JesusMurphy Igbo Amaka
JesusMurphy Igbo Amaka Honestly this girl Emmauela is a blessing to all Africans and her family, she's a destiny child, born to put smiles onthe face people. Blesss you my dear And keep it up. Is it your step mother? And is her story ... And refuse to die. Sweet girl Emmauela
Like · Reply · 294 · March 17 at 7:36pm
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Happianna Umeh
Happianna Umeh Is it your step mother na my own so na my story.... From food poison to water poison just so that she go chop belleful.... But why Markangel no give am food for house naaaa
Like · Reply · 248 · March 17 at 6:45pm
9 Replies · 9 hrs
Kurtís Lane
Kurtís Lane Lol he should have made sure Emmanuella ate first, Emmanuella was like that's not my stepmother, forget this I'm hungry, i'll die later
Like · Reply · 122 · March 18 at 12:09am · Edited
8 Replies · 7 hrs
Osundiran Olayemi
Osundiran Olayemi Emanuela die.. Hmmmm, die....hmmmmm, she is my stepmother now not ur stepmother 😁😀😁 the poison was in the water not in d food😂😂😂😂 OMG Emmanuella u are such a talented girl God bless you and ur uncle
Like · Reply · 80 · March 18 at 6:26pm · Edited
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Yankee Peace Unity
Yankee Peace Unity Emmanuella will not kill person with laff here!!!!Let me come and be going jare!!
Like · Reply · 83 · March 17 at 6:41pm
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Tina Ndukwe Ibeabuchi
Tina Ndukwe Ibeabuchi Emmanuella God's Limited Edition, God bless the genius that discovered you. Sometimes i actually wish you remain a child n continue to give us undiluted and pure entertainment, but i know that God have plenty in store for you which will continue to unfold as you grow older. God bless you child.
Like · Reply · 49 · March 18 at 4:14am
Oke Wasiu KingDemmy
Oke Wasiu KingDemmy Emmanuella ehn... You are wonderful, I'm so happy and fulfilled after seeing dis... I can't stop laughing 😂😂😂. What a rare gem u re... Keep shining my super star! ❤
Like · Reply · 64 · March 17 at 8:40pm · Edited
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Oscar del Rosario
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http://scripturalcommentary.blogspot.com/2011/03/moses-762.html https://plus.google.com/+SuzanneBennerRocks https://www.facebook.com/Zanbabe/likes?collection_token=1141977173%3A2409997254%3A96&next_cursor=MDpub3Rfc3RydWN0dXJlZDoxMzg5Mjc2NTQzNQ%3D%3D Concept of a Promised Land - Light Planet
www.lightplanet.com/mormons/basic/doctrines/promised_land_eom.htm
Notably, God received up Zion's inhabitants (Moses 7:69), who will return to earth to the New Jerusalem during the last days (Moses 7:62-64; Rev. 21:2). http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/basic/doctrines/promised_land_eom.htm From the beginning, the Lord has reserved choice lands for righteous followers. They include the Garden of Eden for Adam and Eve (Gen. 2:9), a "land of promise" for Enos (Moses 6:17), and Zion for Enoch and his people (Moses 7:19). Notably, God received up Zion's inhabitants (Moses 7:69), who will return to earth to the New Jerusalem during the last days (Moses 7:62-64; Rev. 21:2). Moreover, God gave the land of Canaan "unto [Abraham's] seed…for an everlasting possession" if "they hearken to [God's] voice" (Abr. 2:6). This promise was partially fulfilled when Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt to Canaan.
The Book of Mormon Peoples, including the family of Lehi and the jaredites, were given a Promised Land in the hemisphere now called the Americas, on condition of keeping God's commandments (1 Ne. 2:20; Ether 1:42-43). The prophet Moroni 2 warned future inhabitants of this land: "Behold, this is a choice land, and whatsoever nation shall possess it shall be free…if they will but serve the God of the land, who is Jesus Christ" (Ether 2:12). This admonition applies to all lands that the Lord has promised to any of his peoples.
Latter-day Zion, a "Promised Land" for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, includes the city New Jerusalem that will be built in the Americas (A of F 10) and, in another sense, the stakes of the Church in all the world. Members also believe that the New Jerusalem is where the "lost ten tribes" will first come (D&C 133:26).
Through the Prophet Joseph Smith, the Lord promised in 1831 to lead the Saints to a "land of promise" (D&C 38:18; cf. Ex. 3:8). Because of persecution by enemies and sin among Church members, Joseph Smith was unsuccessful in establishing a permanent community (D&C 101:1-8). After his death, the Saints migrated to the Rocky Mountains, "a land of peace" (D&C 136:16), and still anticipate fulfillment of the Lord's promises to open the way for building New Jerusalem in the designated place (D&C 42:9; 57:1-5; 101:9-22).http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/basic/doctrines/promised_land_eom.htm Note: http://www.celestialthoughts.com/index.cfm?RP=3&PstRef=50
http://scripturalcommentary.blogspot.com/2017/02/d-1349-on-religious-influence.html?spref=fb Scriptural Commentary
(or Inspired Babbling)
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
D&C 134:9 -- On Religious Influence
"We do not believe it just to mingle religious influence with civil government, whereby one religious society is fostered and another proscribed in its spiritual privileges, and the individual rights of its members, as citizens, denied."
Doctrine and Covenants 134:9
There is a lot of good, interesting stuff in this section, but this verse stood out to me because it is basically saying what the First Amendment does, emphasizing the separation of church and state... the idea that we shouldn't encourage or discourage religion, or any particular religion by law. I think sometimes as religious people we forget how wise that law is, and how much it protects us, and everyone else... and perhaps we need a reminder now and then that God supports that same idea. God has never been about coercion or using undue influence to accomplish his goals. He made us free, and he isn't interested in us trying to tear down any of that freedom in his name. That would be a misrepresentation of everything that he stands for.
Today, let's remember that God supports the individual rights of all people, whatever religion they belong to. Let's remember that tearing down anyone else's rights also erodes our rights, and that if we want justice for ourselves, we also have to support justice for others. It is hard to remember sometimes, because probably all of us want good things to prevail over bad things. Good people over bad people. But let's also be humble enough to remember that we don't always agree on what is good and bad, even in our families... and we *definitely* can't see into other people's hearts to know whether they are good or bad, or will become such. We can't see the consequences of our decisions the way that God can, and listening to his wisdom, and walking in the ways that he has asked, is the best way, for ourselves and for others, because God knows what is coming, and how to protect us all and bring us back to him in the end with joy and peace and love. Let's trust him over ourselves, and work to let go of our biases and our stubbornness, and see what God has in store by walking in his way, and not our own.
Posted by Suzanne Benner at 9:10 AM
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2 comments:
mombennerTuesday, February 21, 2017 2:40:00 PM
Loving your insight into how we need to live together as individuals and our responsibility to afford ALL our brothers and sisters the freedom to make their own choices The undue influence is so true, but we also need to remember that we can influence others through love and gentle persuasion to move in the direction of the Lord. We trust Him, and He trusts us do be gentle, loving spirits who represent His love to others.
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Suzanne BennerTuesday, February 21, 2017 3:03:00 PM
Very true. Setting a good example and persuading people to do good is awesome. I was only speaking of trying to infuse religion into government, or acting in some other power-abusive way that could harm others, rather than working in the kind, calm, positive ways that the Lord approves.
Reply http://scripturalcommentary.blogspot.com/2017/02/d-1349-on-religious-influence.html?spref=fb
Scriptural Commentary
(or Inspired Babbling)
Sunday, March 19, 2017
D&C 25:10 -- On Seeking a Better World
"And verily I say unto thee that thou shalt lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of a better."
Doctrine and Covenants 25:10
This is a verse directed to Emma Smith, and it is a good one for us all to keep in mind. We often get so caught up in the things that are right in front of us that we forget about what comes after. And of course that doesn't mean that we should ignore people or our earthly responsibilities, but that we have to lay them aside as our top priorities and get our priorities and our perspective straight. And sometimes that means letting some things go, and sometimes that means shuffling our priorities, but the focus here is to work for a better world rather than investing everything in this one.
What does that mean? Well, I think it means that we shouldn't give up on our ideals, or just do things the way they have always been done just because "that's the way it is." Realism doesn't have to crush us, because God knows that we can make things better, and part of believing him means believing his promises, and even believing in ourselves, because he promises us that we can be more than we are, and that we can turn our weaknesses into strengths. Significantly, other people can also be more than they are, with God's help. Instead of condemning or giving up on people, we can hope for them, and work to make their lives better as well.
Later in the chapter God tells us: "Keep my commandments continually, and a crown of righteousness thou shalt receive. And except thou do this, where I am you cannot come." This is also an important thing to remember because as we learn to love God and live the gospel, we want more and more to be able to be with him... to achieve heaven, and live among Zion-type people. We can't get there if we aren't seeking it and working for it. Today, let's lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of a better.
Posted by Suzanne Benner at 9:48 AM 2 comments:
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Hi. I'm Zanbabe. My name in real life is Suzanne.
My most common nicknames are Zanne, or Z.
I'm currently in charge of the Quality part of the Community team here on the WikiAnswers part of Answers. If you have questions about the site, or need help with anything, feel free to write on my message board.
Before working here, I was a Technical Writer and Editor for many years, and also taught college classes, mostly general education, but my favorites were Science Fiction and poetry. I really like feeling like I can make the learning experience better for people, which is similar to how I feel working for this site. I like the idea of a place where we are all teaching and learning together. (Read here for more on the subject: theworldofanswers.com/2008/06/16/a-word-from-zanbabe-putting-the-community-in-qa/.)
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Nick Vujicic's Top 10 Rules For Success (@nickvujicic)
Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael
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Published on Aug 18, 2016
He's an Australian Christian evangelist and motivational speaker.
He's born with Phocomelia, a rare disorder characterised by the absence of legs and arms.
He founded Attitude is Altitude, a secular motivational speaking company.
He's Nick Vujicic and here are his Top 10 Rules for Success
$$$$ CHECK OUT MY BOOK $$$$
Some used the ideas in this book to build multi-billion-dollar businesses. I'll give you the simple-yet-powerful formula that they used (and you can) to realize your dreams. Get yours.
http://www.evancarmichael.com/oneword/
.:;$ JOIN MY #BELIEVE NEWSLETTER $;:.
This is the best way to have entrepreneur gold delivered to your inbox, and to be inspired, encouraged and supported in your business. Join #BelieveNation and feel the love.
http://www.evancarmichael.com/newslet...
.:SOURCES:.
https://youtu.be/6P2nPI6CTlc
https://youtu.be/AJvEoLPLIg8
https://youtu.be/Aj1GAQDCPiY
https://youtu.be/NKOm3oa32PI
https://youtu.be/E9wUZIWsjXs
https://youtu.be/7Q7Ce5Dp4kU
1. You're valuable
He was born with two small deformed feet, one of which Vujicic calls his "chicken drumstick" because of its shape.
2. #Believe in yourself
He has been able to use his foot to operate an electric wheelchair, a computer and a mobile phone.
3. Don't give up
He thrived in his teenage and young adult years despite being bullied.
4. Just do it
He graduated from Griffith University at the age of 21 with a Bachelor of Commerce degree.
5. Go one step at a time
He started his speaking engagements at 19.
6. Find your purpose
In 2005, he founded an international non-profit organisation and ministry, Life Without Limbs.
7. Make today count
He starred in the short film The Butterfly Circus.
8. Have faith
He markets a DVD for young people titled No Arms, No Legs, No Worries!.
9. Persevere
His first book, Life Without Limits: Inspiration for a Ridiculously Good Life, has been translated into more than 30 languages.
10. Be thankful for what you have
On 12 February 2012, Vujicic married Kanae Miyahara. The couple has two sons, and live in Southern California.
Bonus:
Have fun.
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Need sme more and directed answered, brian tracy, nick vujicic, tom cruise, dale carniege
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Thank you for watching - I really appreciated it :)
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Oscar del Rosario
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Aishah Ahmad
Aishah Ahmad6 months ago
Wow, viewing this video has no regrets. It's really amazing!!!!
Subscribing from your channel is a big treasure for me. I've learned a lot of encouragement.
Reply 14
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Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael6 months ago
Thanks for that and for being part of #BelieveNation El idrissi. :) Much love. #BTA236 Shine
Reply 3
Gorokhavee gorokhavee
Gorokhavee gorokhavee5 months ago
Honestly, this is one of the best youtube channel i happened to come across. i dont see why people should give thumbs down for that. Buddy, you the best. keep on coming. @Evan Carmicheal
Reply 5
dudewat212
dudewat2126 months ago
Amazing testimony & faith in Jesus Christ!!
Reply 14
Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael6 months ago
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for watching. :) #BTA236 Shine
Reply 2
Ayaan Boishakh
Ayaan Boishakh6 months ago
thanks evan...... that was my requested video!!!!!
Reply 12
Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael6 months ago
Thanks for requesting and for watching Ayaan. :) #BelieveNation #BTA236 Shine
Reply 4
漢字 science T V
漢字 science T V1 month ago
@Evan Carmichael Please do one with Vladimir Putin
Reply 2
vanya chubatarova
vanya chubatarova5 months ago
Thanks Evan,great video.Every single video you make is a lefesaver
Reply 4
dudewat212
dudewat2126 months ago
Evan, may you do a Top-10 with 'John F. Kennedy' ?
Reply 4
Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael6 months ago
Thanks for the suggestion. I will pass it on to the team. :) #BTA236 Shine
Reply 3
Jia Xuan
Jia Xuan4 months ago
dudewat212 c
Reply
Eric Sanchez
Eric Sanchez6 months ago
Amazing video. Nick is a great motivational speaker. Take it on step at a time his truth for me. you can make it to the finish line if you're not taking it one step at a time #Believenation #BTA15
Reply 3
Giri dhar raghav
Giri dhar raghav4 months ago
get up and never give up :)
Reply 2
Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael4 months ago
Totally agree with that. :) #BTA303 Shine
Reply
himali phansekar
himali phansekar6 months ago
This was highly inspiring!!!
Reply 2
Judit Ando
Judit Ando1 month ago
Thank you so much for this video. I am actually having a hard time at work. Colleagues look at me every day that I am a FAILURE. It's very tough. BUT I am really thankful for Nick that he encouraged me to get up and never give up. Nick gave me strength and just as Nick found his strength in Jesus Christ and I will too. Amen
Reply 1
Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael1 month ago
Sorry to hear you are having a hard time at work but glad that you are focused on staying positive Judit. Here is another video that I hope will also be helpful to you: https://youtu.be/8C59btZPqSA Always #Believe in yourself. Much love. :) #BTA389 Shine
Reply
Judit Ando
Judit Ando1 month ago
Thank you so much Evan
Reply
ArkansasVaper@gmail.com
ArkansasVaper@gmail.com2 months ago
Jesse duplantis do one on him.
Reply 1
Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael2 months ago
Thanks for the suggestion. I will pass it on to #BelieveTeam. :) #BTA354 Shine
Reply
Elisha Pour
Elisha Pour2 months ago
Thank you
Reply 1
Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael2 months ago
Thank you very much for watching Elisha. :) #BelieveNation #BTA353 Shine
Reply
漢字 science T V
漢字 science T V1 month ago
where is Vladimir Putin top 10 rules for success ?
Reply
Pradeep Perera
Pradeep Perera3 months ago
thank you
Reply 1
Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael3 months ago
Thank you very much for watching. :) #BTA313 Shine
Reply
Danish Rabbani
Danish Rabbani4 months ago
bravest person in the world
Reply 1
Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael4 months ago
Thanks for the comment and for watching Danish. :) #BelieveNation #BTA299 Shine
Reply
Danish Rabbani
Danish Rabbani4 months ago
Sure
Reply
Orlando Arangorin
Orlando Arangorin5 months ago
i'm glad that a person like Nick existed, because of him, many people were encourage to continue without looking on the things which might be the cause of not attaining a certain goal. Thank you EVAN for uploading this video (Inspirational Video). God bless.
Reply 1
Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael4 months ago
Glad you liked it and you are inspired Orlando. :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for watching. All the best to you! #BelieveNation #BTA279 Shine
Reply
Nikhil Pol
Nikhil Pol5 months ago
Im too handicapped i have my own business whenever i feel like quitting i watch dis guy.....i cant walk but whenever i see dis guy it makes me run.
Reply 1
Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael5 months ago
Glad to know he inspires you Nikhil. For sure not being able to walk is not a hindrance to pursuing what we love and achieving our goals. Always #Believe in yourself. All the best to you! Much love. #BelieveNation #BTA257 Shine
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New Future Builder
New Future Builder6 months ago
Nick is extremely motivational! I think he is one of the main reasons I cut down on excuses in my life!I like #7 the best and that bonus footage is great!!! #BTA365
I can't imagine how I would react if I was getting on that plane.
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Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael6 months ago
Totally agree Justin, he surely shows we have no excuse. :) #BelieveNation #BTA236 Shine
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Hùng Kiệt
Hùng Kiệt8 hours ago
This is great lesson in life,thank you Nick Vujicic.God bless you.
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Marie A. Abanga
Marie A. Abanga6 days ago
There is no greater diasbility than to have no hope; than to want to give up: It's not the greatest disability not to have hands and legs or a hearing impairement like I do. Oh my thank you
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Evan Carmichael
Evan Carmichael4 days ago
Thanks for sharing and thank you for watching! Never give up. #Believe #BelieveNation #BTA421 Luka
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Luke Koebele
Luke Koebele2 weeks ago
These onions are strong today...
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million cech my channel
million cech my channel1 month ago
Vladimir Putin ???????????
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Preaching Articles
4 Relationship Fences that will Help you Preach Better
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preaching article 4 Relationship Fences that will Help you Preach Better
4 Relationship Fences that will Help you Preach Better
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Hal Seed (website: PastorMentor.com)
Feb 28, 2017
Scripture: Ephesians 4:26 Romans 12:10-11 Romans 12:16
(Suggest Scripture)
Tags: Family Relationships Preaching Preaching The Word Relationships
(Suggest Tag)
Each week, the most important time for all of us who preach or teach for a living is our preparation time.
If you don’t hear from God in the study, you’re not likely to be used by God in the pulpit.
Satan knows this, so if he has anything to say about it, that’s the time he’s going to most want to disrupt. By lack of sleep. Or spiritual complacency.
Or relational tension.
I wish I had been given these four relational suggestions 25 years ago. They all fall in line with the spirit of Romans 12, starting at verse 10:
10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer….16 Live in harmony with one another. Romans 12:10-12, 16
Here are 4 relational boundaries that lead to healthier relationships and better preaching.
1. Ask your spouse for a “No-Fight Friday” policy.
That is, if you do your teaching prep on Friday. If it’s Thursday, make it a “This isn’t a good time Thursday” rule. If it’s Wednesday, you could call it your “We’re Working Together Wednesday.”
You get the point.
All of us get irritated with the people we love the most and live with the most. (Or at least all of you do; my wife is perfect so it never happens to me.) And all our spouses get irritated with us. In listening to pastors’ wives what I’ve found is they find themselves less able to bite their tongues on the day their husbands are writing their sermons.
That doesn’t mean that you’ll never have a fight on Friday. Crises happen. But if we can move 90% of our fights to less important days, the work of the church will go better.
“No Fight Friday” means, “If I have an issue, or you have an issue, we’ll try to resolve that issue at a time other than when I’m about to sit down and write my message.”
I probably don’t need to point out that you need to discuss this with your spouse at a time when you’re not fighting.
If message preparation is your most important time, post-message delivery is your most drained and most vulnerable time. So, if at all possible, establish a “No Criticism Sunday” policy.
2. Ask your congregation for a “No Criticism Sunday” policy.
Congregation members are generally polite enough that if they have a criticism for you, they know it’s best to give it in person. But when are they most likely to see you? Sunday. Just before or right after you preach.
Just before you preach you need to be “in the Spirit”. Pastors tend to be people-pleasers and nothing is more unsettling to a preacher than hearing a criticism just before you step on the stage.
Then, after you preach you are at your most fragile.
Imagine how hurtful it would be for an artist immediately after he sang his new song to be told that the song sucked. It would hurt any time, but the time it would hurt the most is right after he sang it.
Our sermons are our compositions. We’re most damaged by criticism immediately after delivery. So tell your church members, “You can criticize me if you must, just wait until Tuesday.”
The same policy should be in place for your worship leader.
People are emotional, so they want to sound off while they’re mad. But mature people know that their criticism is only godly if its purpose is to help the person they’re correcting. And mature people have enough maturity to be able to wait. So ask them to wait until Tuesday.
A corollary to this policy addresses anonymous notes.
3. Tell your congregation about your “No Anonymous Notes” policy.
Matthew 18:15 says that if you catch a brother in sin, you are to go to him in private. Just between the two of you. An anonymous note is not between the two of you. It’s not edifying. It’s attacking.
And you are unwise to leave yourself open to attack.
Establish a procedure where every anonymous letter is thrown away before it’s read. And every anonymous comment on a Connection Card is tossed before it’s ever seen by the pastor or person for whom it’s intended. To let anonymous notes float is to foster a dysfunctional family.
Let your congregation know that you will read everything that’s signed, and nothing that isn’t. Have a mature member screen all cards and comments before they get to you or anyone they might hurt.
Lastly, you and your wife are most susceptible to spiritual attack Sunday afternoon and Monday.
4. Establish a “Give Grace on Sunday and Monday” policy with your spouse.
More resignation letters are written on Mondays than any other days. And more pastoral couple fights happen for petty reasons on Sunday afternoon and Monday mornings than at any other time because this is the time when you’re both least-strong and least-guarded.
So, establish a grace policy: If one of us is tempted to be snippy, critical, or hurtful, give grace until we both have the strength to deal with whatever is bothering us.
Ephesians 4 says, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” The key to this is just don’t get angry. Power down and give grace on those days.
Now What?
Do you think any of these relational boundaries would help your marriage and your preaching?
If so, what’s your next step?
Blessings on you, your marriage, and your preaching!
Hal Seed (website: PastorMentor.com)
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Dr. Hal Seed is founding pastor of New Song Community Church in Oceanside, CA. In the past five years, New Song has seen over 5,000 people make first time decisions for Christ. Hal is the author of Future History: Understanding the Book of Daniel and End Times Prophecy, Jonah: Responding to God, I Love Sundays, The Bible Questions, as well as The God Questions. Each of these books is being used in small groups and church-wide campaigns around the country.